Struggling with hope

by Noa, Jewish Advisor in Kids4peace

10635815_929195320431054_7507300656757306303_nLast week I went to an interfaith pray vigil held in Manhattan by my (our) friend Chelsea, who, besides being an interfaith advisor in NH/VT first year’s summer camp, is an interfaith minister.

The prayer vigil was held for the Syrian refugees. It’s an important thing right now in the USA. Many organizations are trying to find ways to help them.

In that prayer, we meditated. And in this meditation we were asked to think about needing to leave our homes, and finding new places to live. Our thoughts and intentions were meant to be sent to the Syrian refuges. But I kept on going back to my home, our home. Thinking – how much longer will we still have one? What’s going too happened next? Is there anyone out there I can count on to prevent us all from becoming refuges? Will we find ourselves soon fleeing our homes, looking for a better future? Are people going to hold prayer vigils for Israel/Palestine soon, too?

I cried. And I continue crying. Because as much as I believe in hope, and want to be able to have hope and deliver hope, so many times I feel hopeless.

The darkness seems to grow bigger. I keep on trying to light candles of hope – promote peace, coexistence, friendship. There are moments that I feel the light is winning, at least in my own personal life. But once in a while, I let the fear take over me, I let myself be afraid, scared, worried. And then I try to light another inner candle of hope and love, and continue on.

It’s important to feel our feelings, just not to let them win us over.